This blog is brought to you by our guest blogger Tui Fleming, author of ‘Dear Mummy, You’re Important Too … ”
I haven’t always been a calm, relaxed person. In my twenties I was probably deemed a “rushing woman”; I set particularly high expectations for myself and it was ‘achievement at all costs’. Thankfully it didn’t cost me too much: no ill health, no burn out – but looking back, life slid by without me really feeling it.
Feeling. Senses. These are gifts given to us by Mother Nature but it’s only when we pause and be still – or keep moving but pause our thoughts and be mindful – that we really tune into them.
Bella Mama is a sanctuary for sensation. I still remember the moment when Jo put her hand (that nurturing, energy-giving hand!) on my still-flat belly and said “hello, baby”. She brought me into a moment of wonder, a moment where I was so totally present in myself and with my baby. I really believe that my time with Jo contributed to my slow down; my mindfulness; my reflectiveness. And that this, together with lessons from my career in values, belief systems and balance, inspired my approach to mummying.
To be the best mummy you can be means being the best YOU you can be.
This is the foundation for my approach, and the premise of my book ‘Dear Mummy, You’re Important Too’. Here’s an excerpt taken from the first few pages:
IN THE BEGINNING
It may not go to plan; That’s the excitement of experiencing something new.
Visiting hours will probably be when you want to sleep; But watch the delight on your visitors’ faces when they meet your baby for the first time.
You will probably not sleep much, maybe not at all; I promise you, you’ll catch up.
You’ll experience the phantom cry, waking from a much-needed sleep only to realise that cry you thought you heard was in your dream; That’s your body doing what it should to protect your baby - well done.
You’ll be tired, but wired; This is a body-and-life altering experience!
Your baby may only want to sleep on you; Of course: they know the sound of your heartbeat from the inside and they’re looking for it – it brings them a unique comfort that only you can offer. What an honour bestowed upon you.
This is motherhood. It’s a responsibility, a job for life.
It’s a privilege.
Motherhood is something else too: it’s an opportunity … “
The response to my book has been overwhelming. I’ve had messages from readers telling me how they’re feeling (yes, feeling!) having read my book. As I said it’s not prescriptive. Instead it offers a different perspective and asks questions put together with blank notes pages for you to write your thoughts. It’s like a personal development journal for mums, that takes you on a journey within. It helps you find your answers, your story. As summed up by this reader:
“Just finished the book, and I LOVED it! It’s the first book I have read cover to cover in at least 10 years! And somehow I managed to do this in 2 weeks while on school holidays with my 3 little beauties on my own. I think that says something right there about how well you have crafted this book. I think it’s hugely because it’s from the heart. I will be keeping this treasure nice and handy as I know I will refer to and re-read it constantly. I can’t wait to go back into it and fill in all the notes, I feel a lot more aligned and simply calmer about everything and MY STORY.”
The opportunity in motherhood is to:
- see ourselves as we see our children, that is, as very special and important;
- to nurture ourselves, just as we nurture our children;
- and to grow and flourish, just as we encourage our children to.
Whatever stage you’re at in your mummying journey, take a moment to properly consider this opportunity. It’s about YOU. Now, are you going to finish reading, rush off and “get things done”, or are you going to take a moment, a lovely long deep breath, and do something for you?
Postscript: By the way, with a 3 and a 4-year old I’ll understand if you do have to get on with things – the point is to remember that you’re important too.
Hi, I’m Tui.
I am a mummy to two young daughters.
I am also a marketer, with twelve years spent in the corporate world before babies arrived.
And I’m a motivator: it’s a natural desire in me to coach, motivate and activate people (myself included!).
Dear Mummy is like my third child! It began as a book, which is the cornerstone of the Dear Mummy brand. Given who I am, this book has been – and all future writing will be – written from a place of both empathy and practicality, as I have applied my experience, business lessons and personal development to our journey as mummies.
I’ve written this book for myself as much as you. We are important too. I hope in reading it, and joining the conversation, you feel pride and love for yourself, and that the mother in you and the you in you, shines brightly, strongly, confidently.
We are so excited to have a copy of ‘Dear Mummy, You’re Important Too’ to give away along with a gift voucher for a 30 minute Bella Mama massage. This prize is valued at $105. Enter the giveaway. Feel free to tag in a friend who you think is an important mummy too!
T&C – The winner will be drawn on Thursday July 21st and notified on Instagram. This competition in not associated with Instagram. The prize cannot be exchanged for cash.